The Smoke Screen

There are times when I really feel like “love” means you and I. It’s a feeling that I can’t put into words. The way you look at me, makes me feel strong and special. Heck, when you touch me I get a warm and comfortable feeling inside of me. I talk about you all the time and smile whenever I think of you. In my mind and in my heart you’re the perfect woman and your love means the world to me. Our relationship is a loving relationship and we are truly the “perfect couple” that people should take notice of. Finally, all of the stars in the galaxy are aligned and all is good in the world. Yeah that sounds great and all; to bad it seems like you are just blowing smoke up my a** and taking me for a ride into the land of bulls***. You seem to be holding on to your past, every time we are suppose to get together you give me a dumb a** excuse as to why we can’t go out, and when I want to make love to you or receive some “loving” from you you come with “my time of the month” phase. Oh let’s not forget how you let your eyes wonder around and say that you’re just being cautious about your surroundings. Hell I feel like a ghost when you talk around me or in codes like I am not even in the same vicinity as you. Most of all, we don’t even do the special things/little things that count in a relationship anymore. You seem so distant and DAMN IT I AM SICK AND TIRED OF IT ALL!!! Now if I did all of these things to you, would you stay or would you go?? Quick you must decide before the smoke clears.

Final Thought: If someone doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore, why can’t they just say so instead of stringing the other person along or try to spare their feelings? Now I know no one is perfect, but damn I would prefer someone to tell me to my face that the relationship is over, rather than throw s*** in my face and tell me not to worry it’s only chocolate ice cream. That’s just down right stupid right?? Thanks for reading

Spread the word and follow me…(M.Bowlding/copyright/8-31-15)

Never Wanted

I never wanted to control you or tell you what to do

All I wanted to do is adore you and love you

I never wanted to make you unhappy and sad

All I wanted to do is make you happy and glad

I never wanted to break your heart

All I wanted to do is be with you right from the start

I never wanted to be alone

All I wanted to do is let our love be known

I never wanted to argue fuss or fight

All I wanted to do is make sure our relationship was alright

I never wanted to bring you any type of hurt or pain

All wanted to do is to love you over and over again

I never wanted to make you cry

All I wanted to do is be that special someone who is a glimmer in your eye

I never wanted you to be with another

All I wanted to do is be yours forever

I never wanted to admit to my mistakes

All I wanted to do is love you and do whatever it takes

I never wanted to feel the hurt and fell like s***

All I wanted to do is learn and grow from this

I never wanted to have my heart broken and tossed in the trash can

All I wanted to do is continue to evolve and become a better man

Final Thought: I had to go through some things to learn how to become a better man; hell I am still learning how to do that. I made mistakes and I have broken some hearts in my day, but when the tables were turned and I had to feel the pain, wow it was a shock to my system. Just goes to show you no one’s perfect. Thanks for reading…

Spread the word and follow me…(M.Bowlding/copyright/8-13-15)

Good-Bye

It’s hard to realize that our love has gone away

I tried everything within my power to get you to stay

You promise me that we would be together forever no matter what

But I see that was your way of getting me to keep my mouth shut

We agreed to work on our relationship to make it loveable and strong

Now I have to accept the fact that will never happen and I was dead wrong

You said that you wanted our love to last

But you could never let go of your other from your past

Love is a four letter word that means the world to me

You said you felt the same way too but you wanted to be free

I am a hopeless romantic who wears his feels on his sleeves

You took advantage of that and don’t care if my heart bleedes

I know that I am not a perfect man by any mean

But you made sure to give people the impression that you were the perfect queen

You wanted to have your cake and eat it too

I felt like a second fiddle and that I could no longer do

You took my love you took my heart and I felt like I wanted to die

That’s when I knew it was time to say good-bye

Final Thought: When you put your all into a relationship and come up with the short end of the stick, that’s enough to make you feel like s***. Just cry and tell them to kiss your a** and say good-bye. Thanks for reading…

Spread the word and follow me…(M.Bowlding/copyright/7-14-15)

Is It Worth It

This topic is for some people (including myself) who have been down this road that I am about to mention. When a relationship is over, is it worth it to act like a press a** fool? Is crying your eyes out and feeling like life has no meaning anymore because a relationship ends? Think about it, some will keep calling the other person begging for another chance, some will text the other person so much that their cell phone provider will be like “damn they’re press”. Hell some folks will show up at the other person’s house uninvited just to start trouble. Then to make matters worse, some will even damage the other person’s car beyond repair. Some people will keep digging for information on the other person even after the relationship is over. Why?? Just so that they can find some things and get hurt even more?? If the relationship is over and done for whatever  reason, I say try your best and get over it. I can say that I have been on both sides of the road. I have been on the road that had me crying like a baby in need of a diaper change, I have been on the road that had me begging the other person to stay with me and let’s love each other and stay together no matter what. Especially if I know that I didn’t do anything wrong for the relationship to end. I do have to admit, I was the reason that some of the relationships that I was in ended because I was young, dumb, and insecure about myself. That was then and this is now!!! I have been on the road that had me caught in between someone who couldn’t let go and someone who didn’t let go, but told me something totally different. I am no expert, but to me all of that crazy a** stuff is not worth the time or energy. Listen, if s*** was worth anything, then poor people would have been born without an a**hole. Meaning, take your a** in a corner somewhere, shed some tears and get yourself together. The relationship is over, but life goes on.

Final Thought: Sometimes emotions can get the best of us and cloud are judgement to the point where we can’t think clearly. No matter how much it hurts when a relationship ends, you should never let someone make you loose your self control. It’s not worth it at all. It’s not worth giving up your freedom, it’s not worth giving up your hard earn money to pay for items that you might have destroyed because you let your emotions get the best of you. Life is worth living and love comes and goes. Is it worth it to love life? Yes!! Is it worth it to act like a fool and show the other person that they have that control over you? Hell no!! Thanks for reading…

Spread the word and follow me..(M.Bowlding/copyright/7-13-15)

My Dad + My Pops= Me

My dad is real cool in my eyes because he can be like my big brother and my best friend all rolled into one person. He is someone who I can talk to about anything and not be judged for my mistakes. Yet when I am wrong, he is someone who will let me know that I am wrong and he will definitely put me in my place at the same time. We can hangout talk and have a few “cold ones” or our favorite drink Remy Martin VSOP. He is someone who I really look up to and I want to make him proud of me. I always wanted to be a dad just like him, but only better. Now I am not saying he is/was a bad dad, I always wanted to be like him, yet be my own man and teach my kids to be a better dad than me. My dad is the best dad and I love him and I want to thank him for always being apart of my life.

Now my pops is somewhat different than my dad. He is real cool, but he is so laid back that it seems as if nothing bothers him at all. He reminds me a lot like James Bond (007), but cooler. I can talk to him also, but his answers seem to come out in a smooth but stern tone like Barry White (RIP). He makes me think about my mistakes and how I can better myself as a dad and as a man also. My pops is funny as hell too and he can make you laugh and feel better at the same damn time regardless of the situation. This man has been there for me in my time of needs and I love him for anything and everything that he has done for me.

With these two dudes on my side, how can I loose?? Some people can’t say that they have two fathers, let alone one father. Well I am proud to say that I have two fathers and I will do everything within my power and make them both proud of me. Love you guys and thanks for everything.

Final Thought: My mom use to tell me when I was younger that my dad is my father (her ex-husband) and my pops (her husband) was my father too. Now back then I was confused, but as I got older I understood what she meant by that. I had the advantage of having two adult men to learn from and I should respect then both no matter what.  I wanted to post this on father’s day, but a lot has been going on (yeah I know I am bit late for father’s day right?). I just wanted to acknowledge these two gentleman and thank them from the bottom of my heart for everything that they have done for me. There was a time when I would complain to my dad about my pops when I was a kid. My dad told me that I better respect my pops or he (my dad) would beat my behind. Okay I tried to flip the script and complain to my pops about my dad. My pops told me that if I didn’t give my dad the respect that he deserves, he (my pops) would beat my behind. Damn that, that’s too many ass whippings for one kid to endure. Don’t you agree?? Thanks for reading…

Spread the word and follow me…(M.Bowlding/copyright/7-02-15)

I Can’t Sleep

I can’t seem to relax enough to get a good nights sleep

The mere thought of not having you in my life makes me weep

It feels as if the is no chance to have any inner peace

I wish the war of pain that is within my heart would cease

I had hoped that you would be the love of my life

But you turned on me and it feels as if you stabbed me with a knife

Some may say good night and sweet dreams

That’s never the case for me because all I can hear is my heart painful screams

Sometimes I am scared to go to sleep and wake up

Knowing that you will be the one on my mind and my morning will be rough

My friends tell me that I have insomnia and that’s all

I told them that it feels like my mind and my feelings are having a all out brawl

Man I feel so low and restless

I don’t know it feels like I am under a lot of stress

While I am a wake I want to experience the feeling of true love

I don’t want to go to sleep and dream like a drunken dove

Now I am walking around with my eyes all puffy looking like a creep

All because I don’t have you and I can’t go to sleep

Final Thought: We all deserve a good nights sleep every night so that we can function properly the next day. After a brake up, it seems as if we can’t get the proper rest that we all deserve. Speaking from experience, I know how hard it is to get a good nights sleep. Hell I have been up for hours!!! Thanks for reading…

Spread the word and follow me…(M.Bowlding/copyright/6-12-15)

1 Man 2 Hearts

I am only one man, but it feels like I have two hearts

They beat as one, but their feelings are different and the conversation never stops

Heart 1 says that love can conquer all no matter what

Let love flow and ignore that strange feeling in your gut

I will retain love and happiness inside of me for a long while

I will make sure that you are happy and be able to maintain a joyful smile

Heart 1 says that special someone I and will love and be together

It said that special someone and I will stay in love and it will last forever

Heart 1 said that when her and I make love to put my all into it

To make sure she feels all of me and calm her spirit

Heart 1 says to love her and treat her like a queen

Make sure to love her and respect her to the fullest and leave nothing in between

Heart 1 says to love her mind, body, and soul

Do all of this and we will achieve the ultimate goal

Heart 2 says that love did not conquer all

Look how love hurt you and now you feel very small

Heart 2 says look how happiness and love let you down

Now that smile is nothing more than a heartache turned into a frown

Heart 2 says that when it comes to love there is no such thing as being together forever

That is love way of giving you false hope, now isn’t that clever

Heart 2 said remember when it was said to put your all into it while making love

That did not work and now it seemed like it was only sex, what were you thinking of

Heart 2 says it was said to treat her like a queen and leave nothing in between

You did that and it got you nowhere do you see what I mean

Heart 2 said that Heart 1 said do all of those things and achieve the ultimate goal

All of that was done, but you are hurting and it might be time for us to become cold

Heart 2 said see I told you that this thing called love is not your type

Feeling loved and being in love is nothing but a bunch of hype

Heart 2 says there is no such thing as joy, there is only pain

It is almost like no sunshine only clouds and a lot of rain

Now I am starting to think that there is no feeling of love or joy

It feels like it is just something to distract me from life, you know like a decoy

Final Thought: There is one man with two hearts who have different feelings within. Now after doing all the right things and still getting hurt and coming up with the “short end of the stick” what heart makes more sense to listen to. Heart 1 or Heart 2??? Thanks for reading…

Spread the word and follow me…(M.Bowlding/copyright/6-09-15)